Today's Tarot:

Five of Wands

The card of conflict. Here's hoping things are easily resolved throughout the day. Work is always a source of power struggles for me. There are members of the staff who are just there to earn a paycheck and don't really bother to do anything and yet they bitch and moan when someone changes a display. Now given, most of these people have been there for more than a decade and in a way have earned the right to stand around. However, they make it harder on those of us who are still trying to maintain the business. I spend far too much energy at work trying to not blow up at them. This then causes inner conflict. I don't want to feel hateful and frustrated all the time. Plus, I become very resentful of those who don't pitch in to make work a positive place. Its a challenge to strike a balance.

Breaking bonds....

Today's Tarot: Eight of Swords, reversed

So glad this card came out reversed. The Eight of Swords  is a card of bondage and mental blocks. Reversed it is a card the signifies a release from restrictions. However it can also suggest relationship problems and warns against power struggles. Today is a day to aviod arguements and to release bounds.

Listening...

The following is my current Free Will Astrology Horoscope from Rob Brezsny. It really hits home and is a lesson that I often need work on. As anyone who knows me, can tell you, I'm a terrible listener. I need to cultivate a sense of active listening. 

ARIES (March 21-April 19): I've got a challenging assignment for you. In
accordance with your current astrological omens, I am inviting you to
cultivate a special kind of receptivity -- a rigorously innocent openness to
experience that will allow you to be penetrated by life's beauty with
sublime intensity. To understand the exact nature of this receptivity,
study Abraham Maslow's definition of *real* listening: to listen "without
presupposing, classifying, improving, controverting, evaluating, approving
or disapproving, without dueling what is being said, without rehearsing the
rebuttal in advance, without free-associating to portions of what is being
said so that succeeding portions are not heard at all."

Perhaps its time to read a little more of Maslow's study and start listening an stop talking.

Choice...

This seems to be a Pentacles themed week thus far. Yesterday's tarot pull was the Ace of Pentacles. That aligned with the New Moon makes me hope that new prosperous beginnings are just around the corner.

Today's Tarot:

The Lovers

This is a card of passion and choice. Its time to look forward and backward to see where this path is taking me. Another fork in the road, a time to evaluate the next step. Autumn is often a time of re-evaluating for me. I tend to make big changes in my life during this part of the year. "We live the life we choose, no matter if we make the choice ourselves or allow someone else to make it for us." Is a quote I hold dear. There are a myriad of possibilities that need to be looked at before the next direction is chosen.

Seed-time...

Today's Tarot:

Seven of Pentacles

The card of seed-time and unknown possibilities. Exert from The Renaissance Tarot that really hits home, "This card is linked with hard work that is currently producing little financial gain. The temptation is to allow anxiety to block progress. Fears of poverty and unfounded concerns about the future may subvert energy and creative growth at this time. Focusing on the rewards, instead of the process required to claim them, could be the problem." That pretty much sums up my current inner landscape. I have some many possibilities knocking at the door and floating through my dreams, and yet my current hard work isn't getting me any closer to them. Here's hoping this card pull is the seed that brings forth growth.

Fairy cards....

I've embraced my crafty side today. Something I haven't done for far too long. As an artist I often go through long periods of inactivity as far as my work goes. Sometimes this is due to being in a creative rut and sometimes its because I'm figuring out the ins and outs of a project. Today I'm working on greeting cards. They have paper doll like fairies, witches, and princesses affixed to them. They're cute and quite fun to make.

Today's Tarot:

Three of Cups

This is a card of celebration and of energy returning after a long period of stagnation. Perhaps this is pointing towards my renewed sense of creativity? 

Pumpkin Festival

Today is the Rapid City Pumpkin Festival. I'm so excited to go downtown and celebrate the beginning of Fall! This is my favorite time of year. Crisp breezes, changing leaves, warm sweaters, fall colors, pumpkin flavored everything, Samhain just around the corner! a

Today's Tarot:

Temperance

Finding harmony, balance, and adaptability. Finding balance is a constant goal in my life. I've also been struggling with adaptability the last few years. I don't seem to roll with the punches quite as easily. This is also a card of re-newed creativity. It is the card of the Alchemy. A card of changing something ugly into something beautiful. 

Update:

Yesterday was indeed about adapting and finding balance. Anyone who knows me, knows that I have a hard time sitting still. Even when I want to be lazy I feel guilty for not being active. I had little to no energy yesterday and yet spent the whole day trying to balance my mind's need to clean the house with my body's need to relax. Today seems to have brought more of this feeling.

Many apologies for missing a Tarot pull yesterday. I was all the way to work before I realized I hadn't.

Today's Tarot:

Five of Pentacles

This is a card of loss. It also tends to symbolize the point where things are darkest right before the dawn. My hope is that this signifies that today is the Autumnal Equinox, that Summer has wained and Winter awaits. However, considering all the finical ups and downs we've had this year, it could be pointing towards more money woes. We shall have to wait and see what the day brings.

Have a glorious equinox!

Update: Well, yesterday was mostly un-eventful. So I'm leaning towards the Five of Pentacles being about the changes that come from the equinox. :)

Learning...

Mmm the air is crisp and it smells like Fall! My morning run was fantastic. I love running in the cool Autumn air! I have a relaxing day ahead that will end with me teaching my first cooking class. Tonight's menu includes; Autumn Harvest Salad with Citrus Vinaigrette, Garlic and Herb Biscuits, Mushroom Stroganoff, and Peanut Butter Truffles.

Today's Tarot:

The Hierophant


Appropriate considering I'm teaching tonight. I've also been seriously thinking about taking one of the 4 Week Foundation courses from Cherry Hill Seminary. Perhaps this card pull is a push towards higher learning!

Tarot for Sept. 20th

Today's card: Queen of Swords

Thoughts: This is always a card of communication for me. I'm hoping this means communication will come easily today and without conflict. The two headed bird depicted could represent seeing both sides of a conflict or being in conflict with someone who has two sides to their nature. Here's to cutting through the mental road blocks and communicating freely!

Daily Tarot...

I'm going to start a daily Tarot practice. Every morning I plan to pull a card for the day. I'll post here what the card is, what it means to me on first consideration and then again later in the evening on how I feel it fit into my day.

Todays card:

The Hanged Man

The card of willing sacrifice and waiting. I wonder if this means I'll be putting off my own needs at work today in order to help others with their own? Or perhaps it means a deeper understanding of the waiting that must occur before progress? Maybe a willingness to let the universe unravel at its own speed instead of pushing against barriers?

Blissed out...

The yoga studio that I'm a member of, Roots, has been going through some growing pains this summer. Because of this, our class schedule has changed. I mentioned last week that the Restorative class is now on Sunday and is a bliss filled 1 1/2 hours. This week we have a new teacher. Andra is amazing! She has been through many years of Shaman training and uses therapeutic harp and chant to heal. What a blissful experience to be able to hit a trance state while in a supported heart opening back bend. Restorative has already been a source of great relaxation and helped to re-align my chakras. I could feel my energy flow so clearly during class tonight. I felt like I was made of pure light. My whole spirit feels lifted and I'm actively lighter on my feet. Blessed Be!

And it harm none...

This morning while I was getting ready for work, I was thinking about the reasons why I'm Vegan. A huge part of it is due to health issues. However I realized that my spiritual values also play a big role. I try to live the Wiccian Rede, "And it harm none, do what ye will." The taking of another's life as a source of food just doesn't feel right to me. We live in a society that eats meat because its taught to, not out of nessicity for survival. We aren't honoring the souls of the creatures, who are being brutilized, and giving their lives to feed us.

In and Out of the Dreaming

Last night's dreams brought with them a lot of anxiety. I woke up several times worried about loss. Loss of wealth, loss of love, loss of connection. But with those losses came new beginings. Most of them were centered around my impending move to North Carolina. Its still a year away, as my Student Host position with John C. Campbell Folk Art School doesn't start until Sept 26, 2012, but its on my mind constantly. There is planning and saving to be done.

J came over for dinner last night and of course we talked about it and that spurred the dreams. She's moving to Memphis around the same time for grad school. I did a tarot spread about the move a few days ago. The dreams left me with the same slightly uncertain feeling that the tarot reading left me with. There are big changes coming and for the first time in my life I'm wary of them. I normally embrace change, live for change, love change. This time though I find myself hesitating. Perhaps I'm just getting older, but this feels less like the comfort of old age and more like fear.

Restoring

I worked on some creative visualization during my Restorative Yoga class tonight. I tried to concentrate on sweeping out the mental cobwebs. I had this image of myself in a dusty old attic. It was all bare timbers with a single dirty window. As I used my broom to knock down and sweep out the cobwebs the sun through the window brightened. This has inspired me to purge our household of that which does not serve us. C and I have some serious cleaning to do!

I also spent time chanting within my mind Earth, Air, Fire, Water. I began to feel more grounded than I've felt since moving here. The combination of the inner chanting, the accupressure, and the yoga pose allowed me to feel connected from my roots through my limbs. Through out class I felt more and more realise in my shoulders, neck, and back. I'm excited that we're having class on Sundays now. It allows for a longer class and because there isn't anything at the studio after us, we don't feel rushed out of our sacred space.

I'm home now, back in reality. My house is full of delightfully nerdy gamers. :) Now to make some dinner and hunker down with a book for the evening.

Welcome

It is my plan to use this blog to document my journey to re-connect with my authentic self. Over the last three years I've strayed from my spiritual path. Though I've grown in many ways over this time, I still find myself often feeling lost and disconnected. I find myself longing for connection. Connection to others, connection to the five sacred elements, connection of mind, body, and spirit, connection to a compassion and an integrity that I once held so dear. I often find myself frustrated and lacking the ability to cope. This blog will be my journal, here I will leave the details of my search for myself.